Junkie

Hey you guys I've been so preoccupied with the soap opera that is my life, I've fallen back into my semi ignorant pattern of half way neglect. Forgive me. This summer has been so topsy turvy and with August in full swing it seems like it just  dragged out and flew by all in the same instance. Anyways I'm having one of those one track mind type of days. Where I can't  seem to stop thinking about something even though I rather not be thinking at all. So naturally I'm going to blog about it to get it out of my system. Oddly enough it ties into one of my blogs from a while back "Id the Dominant." Unfortunately the basic morale of that blog keeps popping up for me this summer. Less on the matter of conscious or subconscious control and more on self control period. Knowing when you have too much or not enough of it. When obeying the Id and being carnal becomes all consuming, and suddenly it registers that  you most likely should back away and reassess  your actions. Of course at that point whatever the indulgence is feels too good and you can't pull away. There's a word for that isn't it? Yes. It's called Addiction. The definition for the word itself is as follows:
 the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma. That's some deep shit. Simply because in a nutshell one would be the  sole creator of his/her own misery. Because we all know constantly being pulled in to a place that feels so damn good that just the thought of being without it literally destroys you is purgatory to say the least. But of course I know their are many individuals out there who are smartasses like me and question any and everything.  I'm 99.9% sure one of your inquisitive little minds is reading this like "well how do you even know if you're addicted to something?" Well I'm no expert but I can honestly say if one has to question whether they have a chronic lack of self control there's an obvious issue present. Even so, it's all easier said that done because clearly no matter what it may be said addiction feels impossible to quell. No one wants to lose the rush of receiving something they crave so detrimentally even when they know damn well they shouldn't be craving it. How would one even go about weaning themselves off of something that seems to have a death grip on their very being? Just the thought of that extra special something gets your breathing labored, skin boiling and turns your mind to mush. The wanting, sometimes so overbearingly intense you find yourselves not even able to properly function until you get your fix. As difficult as all of that may be that's is hardly the most prominent adversity to conquer.  It's not about identifying or not being able to  hold one's addiction at bay, it's about the possibility of one not wanting to rid themselves of the addiction so hastily. What if you don't want it to end, whether it needs  to or  otherwise. The road is bumpy, and the line is thin, but the choice is yours and yours alone.