A Gift, A Curse.

When I get ready to blog, I look at the blank page that I fully  intend  to fill with words that are worth something. I make a silent vow that I will bring the most authentic version  of myself to everything I write. I tell myself 'if you are feeling shitty, it would be a lie to your readers as well as yourself to speak of joy.' At least in that moment anyway. Because everything that I've  ever written to anyone  anywhere has seeped it's  way out viscerally, straight from the heart. When I write is where I cannot lie. I only write truth because words have a funny way about them. Even  if you are a professional at fabrication and your fictional prowess has fought and won among the Gods words have a way of revealing purity. In words lie meaning, intent, honesty and overall reverence. Now I'm  going  to share something that only the closest people to me know about me, I remember everything.  And no not like photographic memory. And no not like "In 1842 Columbus sailed the ocean blue" kinda memory. Even though, I am quite fantastic at recounting interesting facts that serve no purpose other than to be interesting to me.  However what i mean is, everyone  that's ever  mean anything to me truly, i remember everything they ever said to me.  Now most people who be like well if they really mean something to you then of course you'll  remember.  But I literally  remember everything.  What day it was, what the weather like, whether i detected  distance or happiness  in the tone. Everything. And you know what, in life this ability has benefited me in more ways than i can count. But when one has an ability such as mine, and someone else chooses to disrespect and break trust or be insensitive and disregarding. That is the most  hurtful thing to never forget. It too painful to even dwell on.