Sober.

Some people say the more time one spends by themselves the more they become accoustomed to it. To the point that they are not only used to it , but they begin to enjoy, as well as prefer it. I can see how that would be true for some people. Especially those with overly packed days, who practically have to schedule breathing just to get a moment to themselves. For those individuals alone time is much coveted, and once recieved, cherished. I'm not really sure if that notion applies to everyone though. Some people can't really handle being alone for too long, due to the fact that alone can turn into LONELY in the blink of an eye. Trust me when I say, there is absolutely a difference.  To be perfectly honest, I feel like I fit into the second category more often than not. Obviously, I know you can't have someone with you every second of every day. We are a people with lives that dont go on pause for anyone. Not even ourselves sometimes. Still though, as analytical as I am, being left alone, is being left with my worst enemy. Myself. It's incredibly easy to be ambushed by your own thoughts, wishes and memories. Wishing that you were a better version of yourself, so you can shine where you believe  it truly counts. Replaying things over in your head, willing yourself to do them differently, all the while being fully aware that what's done is done. It's almost like re-reading a book that broke your heart, but still holding out hope for a happier ending. That is what being alone is for someone who is constantly in their own head. Sounds like hell, right? Feels like it too, most days. Being surrounded by people, is not only when people like myself come most alive, but it's an area in which we thrive. We are very sociable and charismatic, along with the fact that noone has the time to beat themselves up emotionally and make people laugh simultaneously. Noone in the world is that good of a multitasker. I can't really describe any more than I have already attempted, what happens when there is no one around to enchant, mentally stimulate or beguile. All I can say is, it's quite sobering. And who doesn't want to be a little high sometimes, whatever the vice.