Complaints About The Blood.

Sometimes being disabled really sucks. I hate that there are things that I can't do in this world. It constantly leaves me susceptible to have to rely on someone else. The worst thing about having to rely on someone else is that it leaves room for error and disappointment. It burns me up inside to have to practically beg someone to do something, knowing that they're going to do a mediocre job, IF it gets done at all. They say when you want a job done right you have to do it yourself, but I don't have the luxury. Quite frankly, at this moment in time, I am mad as fuck about it. When it comes to my home, I legitimately want it to be a sanctuary, a place that  I can literally be proud to call mine. But on days like today, I  just feel sad that things aren't how I imagined they'd be. No where near. The most heartbreaking part of this all is that when I ask for help, nine times out of ten, I can't get it. Those that I have no choice but to rely on usually let me down. Everyone's so stressed, everyone's so busy and no one seems to have the time. To be honest,  I think  that some people like chaos. Sometimes I think people like to be stressed, just so they have something to talk about the next time you say "How are you?"I honestly feel like certain people encourage certain stressors just so they can have a reason to complain about life. They are so many times that I sit, and I think but if this person took this particular  stressor and removed it from their radar, their  life would be pretty much okay. The  truth is most people never really truly want to be stress free because then they would never have anything to talk about. It's always the worst because people say "why me?" or "can I get a break?"  over the most miniscule issues or for probelms that are self-inflicted. If you are the creator, maintainer and complainer of your own dispair,with no intention or plan to better your situation  then please be miserable quietly.  Don't use self inflicted misery as a way to get sympathy and in turn, manipulate your way out of the significant and moral functions of every day life. To be completely real, I have alot of emotional instabilities that sometimes lead me down dark paths and even darker actions. The behavior of creating a stressor, not  making thorough attempts to change a stressor and complaining about a stressor is a dangerous cycle. In fact, it would be the equivalent to me cutting my wrist for whatever my reasons, and then deliberately and immediately  complaining about how much blood comes out. Not only does it make no natural sense but it is self destructive. Noone should be content with putting themselves through that to get their way from a kind, usually naive individual. Even more so, no kind individual should allow his or herself to be roped into complying to that behavior. For whatever the reason. No matter what.