Being out of character is totally in character. One of my very best friends took the time out to enlighten me on the ways of myself pertaining to the best of the worst in me. I guess what they say about best friends knowing you better than you know yourself is true. Anyway, she reminded me that I'm human and therefore equipped with the capability of the occasional lapse of stability and average mental malfunctioning. She went on to explain to me that just because you know something is wrong doesn't mean it is easy to stop yourself from doing it or that you even want to stop. And that it is not any more or less significant then waking up early and getting out of your bed to volunteer at a church your mother attends. Neither choice makes you more noble then anyone else in the world. Sometimes even when you try to do the right thing, to take the high road and be the most morally sound person possible the primal part of you will get in the way. Hence the age-old Battle of the Superego and the Id. Good ol' Sigmund Freud told us that there are three different parts of the mind to complete the human psyche. He believed you have the Superego the Ego and the Id. As we all very well know the Superego is the moral compass. It is the Jiminey cricket of sorts, the Angel on your shoulder. The Id however, is the visceral gut- wrenching carnal part of oneself that allows you to feel so good when doing and/or thinking so badly. The Ego is the mediatior and scale balance of the two. It's scary business when your Ego goes on vacation, enabling your Id to give your Superego a wedgie and stuff it in a locker like a highschool bully. All to run amok and terrorize whoever is closest. Which in turn Leaves ones' mind and physical being hot, flustered and wanting against their will, a conundrum one had no business being apart of in the first place. Why does it seem that the Superego only pitches it's two cents AFTER the animal inside of us has stalked, killed and devoured it's prey and is contentedly sucking on it's carcass? Even more so, having the audacity to manifest in the form of guilt and self-hatred, like H E L L O where were you went I was attempting to fight and getting my ass whipped by temptation? As bad as the good people of the world may feel when quelling a fever impossible to contain, regardless of the origin, all we can do is breath and chalk it up to the nature of the human mind. Hopefully, it's not always severe when experienced, but I can say it is meaningless to fight because the harder the fight the more the Id is liable to take control. And with that lightbulb, radiating ever so blatantly in my mind, I guess I can say I fully comprehend where the phrase "It Hurts So Good" comes from.
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