It frustrates the shit out of me when the universe fixes itself in such a way that it constantly feels like my words fall on deaf ears. To make matters worse, the deaf ears my words usually fall on are attached to the heads of some of the people I care for most. I've never hidden or falsified my struggle in any way shape or form. I am a VERY self aware, intuned , emotional being and it's extremely difficult to quell whatever fun little feelings I encounter during the day, no matter how harsh they can turn out to be. Saying that, I'm putting sole emphasis on the fact that when something doesn't sit right with me, or if I'm in a shitty frame of mind I make it known, when asked. So if one were to ask me how I am and I respond with something along the lines of "It's really a rough one today" or "I am emotionally struggling at the moment" or "I'm not my best, physically" That is me letting them KNOW that dealing with me in this mindframe is wholeheartedly THEIR choice. Along with the notion that choosing to do so, should result in the complete ABSENCE of ALL stress, pain, and emotion provoking fuckery. Simply because, everything my body deals with on the daily basis is already overwheming enough. Extra stress is not only unhealthy but emotionally taxing. Therefore, making the concious choice to communicate with me, whilst knowing I am not at my best waaay beforehand, and creating the most unbearable emotional enviroment, whether it be for humor's sake or for the thrill of it is NEVER OKAY. Contentedly deciding to evoke the most agigating, stressful emotions possible in a person, who made it CRYSTAL CLEAR that they just can't deal at the moment is beyond fucked up. One may feel like a trip to Idiot HumorVille by way of the Petty Train Express seems like a good idea, it's really not though. Not when person they chose to ride the train for can't bare the emotional weight. That's just being a fuckhead, joke or no joke. People need to learn how to better be intuned. With themselves as well as those they(alledgedly) care for. You never know when a person may just need a high hearty dosage of TLC (not the R&B group either.) Seriously though, some people are just really really REALLY hurting and they tell people so they can be recieved with warmth and love, not petty, argumentative, humorless bullshit. That's how the pain of those who struggle daily, escalates. Be kind to people. You really never know what demons they are fighting bravely to keep at bay.
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