Stolen Sanity

I realized just recently, that I need to start commending myself more, on my resilience. I've had way too many rough days this week. Not the kind of rough when you've found yourself forgetting to set your alarm clock and  in result, wake up late. Not even the kind of rough that entails  you packing your purse pre- workday only to arrive there and realize you left your phone home. I've been encountering the kind of rough that ensures once you're apart of it , it may not necessarily matter if you survive it, because regardless you will never be the same. The kind of rough that makes you question every waking day, of every waking moment in your whole entire life. What sucks the most about this is, most of the stuff that hurts when you dwell on it, is already said and done. Because the past is unchangeable. That's the hardest part to get over. You think of all the things you could have been. All the things you could have accomplished, that may or may not have shaped your future differently. And you'll never know now. All you can really do is accept how shitty hand you were dealt actually is, and try to play that hand as prettily as you can. So in the end, you can come out on top and smiling. What I don't understand is, why  do people who choose to put this kind of rough on someone else's well-being act as if it is impossible to take accountability for their actions? How can someone manifesting that type of evil,even sleep? The truth to that is, they can sleep because they don't care, nor have they ever. That's always  the common misconception. We as humans, assume that because we have some type of deep rooted connection to someone, biologically, romantically, mentally that they are  bound to do right by us. Simply on the strength of how we've treated them our whole lives. We fail to realize that even people who don't manifest evil, don't necessarily have to treat us how we treat them. So why exactly would anyone with that insurmountable cesspool of hatred and overall instability  inside of them, do anything remotely kind-hearted? They wouldn't. And it would be wise to never believe that they would, ever again. That's the only plausible way to keep and/or regain the mental sanctuary that is your mind. The same mind that you didn't quite catch was, wholeheartedly and  vehemently "misplaced" when the new overwhelming reality unfolded.