Not Quite The Grinch.

Yesterday was such a rough day for me, so much so, that I couldn't bring myself to even write about it. That's okay though because yesterday is exactly that, over. Today however, has just begun and it's Christmas Eve. Just a warning beforehand, my blog game may be a little weak for the next week or so because; holidays. I definitely will  make it my business to do at least one last post before 2016 begins. Anyway, we are on the edge of Christmas and not one drop of snow has fallen. I kind of think that Mother Nature has caught my lack of yuletide jollies.  It isn't that I'm not happy that Christmas is basically here, I just don't feel that warm, fuzzy mystical feeling I usually encounter during holiday time. Maybe I'm speaking too soon, it could kick in later today or early tomorrow morning. I'm actually not sure. It may be because I'm not exactly sure what Christmas even means to me anymore.  Not necessarily including the devout religious foundation of it, Christmas for me, used to symbolize family,strength, joy and my version of faith. As far as family goes, my tree, poisoned by the pestilence that is hatred and bitterness,is looking more like a bruised and battered, house plant. Very few petals in bloom. In terms of strength, I am more than aware that I have conquered so much since this time last year and for that I smile, that doesn't take away from the fact that being that strong all the time can get exhausting. As exhausting as, my version of  faith  being tested at every waking moment, which has, on more than one occasion drained  my joy. You know what though, I do have people who love me, and they all made it to this Christmas Eve alive and enlightened. On the strength of that, I am grateful. Hopefully, the some holly filled cheer will find me before the day is done.Who knows, maybe I'll bump into some Christmas spirit, on the way to the supermarket or something.