Queens Are Damned.

Today, thanks to a conversation I was having with someone near and dear to me,  the unarguable truth that  women get a really egregious rap, hit me like a truck to the gut.  Saying that, I mean society as a whole doesn't really think too highly of women. Especially not black women. Not unless we're taking our clothes off and displaying our bodies for the world to see. Not that there's anything wrong with that, trust me, I hate clothes. I just often times, find myself wishing that the muscles and meat we choose to expose could receive less attention than the muscle protected by our skulls.  There are BRAINS inside these juicy bodies, you know?  I don't even think we're realized as actual  human beings with souls and feelings, rather than conquest to be mounted upon or prizes to be flaunted. In the day-to-day struggle (black) women have way too much to deal with. We are in a constant battle between following what we believe is right within ourselves and balancing our internal weight underneath the scrutiny the world has put on us. We have to be proud of, share, and advocate for our own sexual agency. All the while, dodging the stones casted upon us for doing so. We must be free birds and we must be delicate flowers. We must be strong but not intimidating to man. We hold up so much with the sheer will of weathered fingertips. God forbid, we let consistent societal misogyny anger us. No one enjoys an angry black woman. Men, and even some women need to realize we are not meant for anyone's enjoyment but our own. It is no one's job to tell us where to cultivate our strength from. Every woman has her own muse, every woman gets empowerment from somewhere, a place only SHE can choose. Even in daily conversation, for women, fuckery insues. If it's not the nonstop patriarchal bullshit "compliments" and testosterone dripping rhetoric, then it's insult after insult for calling a man out on just that.  Black Women, we try we really do. If we keep anger inside, we are said to be "holding a grudge" but if we let it go and try to move forward,  every man is suddenly a bonafide doctor and is completely capable of diagnosing us with bipolar disorder. HMPH. I might as well keep it ALL THE WAY REAL and say, us being legitimately angry at all just HAS to be some EMOTIONAL response from some sort of hormonal IMBALANCE. It just happens to MANIFEST from the inside. Fuck that shit. That whole notion to go straight to hell, to be frank. Honestly, it's all the more proof that we are damned if we do, and damned if we don't. So you know what, do you and only you.  No matter what anyone tells you, you're sexy as hell anyway.