OCDisaster.

Today's a bit of a rough day on the recovery front. I thought things were getting easier now that my incisions are healing well, and in some ways they are. I brushed my teeth, in all my left handed glory, for the first time since Christmas. I can open the bathroom door with minimal tightness. I can also lift my arm without crying out like a wounded animal. Progress. What I can't apparently do, is clean. Anyone who knows me knows it drives me crazy to have mess around me. Like really bonkers ape shit crazy. I have a touch of OCD. Most of the time I'm fine, because normally when things get my slightly neurotic version of "messy" in my house I can just clean everything up. However, with my left and most dominant arm on the mend I can't handle things as thoroughly as I would like to. Today, I attempted to do dishes. I literally cannot sit in my house and relax if I know dishes are in the sink. Trying to do them, I dropped one but it didn't shatter because my foot broke its fall. I also had a go at cleaning my tub, I have been fantasizing about a bath all week. Even though it had just been cleaned, I cannot take a bath in a tub that is not freshly cleaned. Even if its mine.  I couldn't take a bath before because I wasn't allowed to submerge my arm. Now that my packs are out, I wanted to at least give it a try, see if I could handle it. That proved to be too much, I took my arm too far and hit it on the side of the tub, before I could even start to scrub. Which naturally, resulted in agitation. So now, I'm feeling the repercussions, to say the least. Its just really frustrating because I'm home alone 99.9% of the time. I miss the confidence that comes with being able to do things myself, to my satisfaction, safely. I try to make it a general rule in my life to not spend the days thinking about all the things that are wrong with me. Most days, I succeed in that feat. It's disappointing that today was not one of them. The good thing is though, that I'll be able to try again tomorrow.