So initially, I was going to write about something completely different today but I saw something on Facebook that kind of inspired me in a new direction. There are a lot of those "what if your boyfriend or girlfriend did ( fill in the blank) how would you react/ would you accept it" post going around. At first, I was thoroughly annoyed by them. Simply because people would always put some sort of sexist or misogynist situation afront to get the general consensus of a woman being some sort of money hungry whore. I realized though they are like a gold mine for interesting conversation and opinions. This one I saw today in particular, really intrigued me, it read;
Your boyfriend proposes. He says he didn't have time to save up and buy a diamond. Instead he makes you one out of wood and a cheap gemstone. Do you accept?
At first I was agitated at the mere insinuation that anybody I was with, man or woman didn't have time to cultivate the means for a life changing experience. I still don't quite understand what not "having time" for something like that means, but I'm going to chalk that up to flawed diction. Then I was a bit offended at the implication that not accepting would make me some sort of gold digger. Seriously though, if you love a person enough to be proposing to them, that must mean you believe that you guys are both in it for the long haul. Which goes to say that you guys have all the time in the world, and if you know what type of ring she wants, waiting to propose and saving up to get that is not necessarily a bad thing. After those first mental reactions, my actual comment was something along the lines of pointing out that whittling takes an immense amount of effort. Depending on the density of the wood, it can take days to craft even the smallest thing. I went on to say that I know this first hand because I once had to whittle a ring out of wood to fit the finger of an American Girl Doll and it took me a little over a week. So, if a man took the effort to whittle a human sized ring custom to my finger size with a gemstone slot crafted in
meant for proposal, I would accept off the strength of dedication, creativity and overall patience alone. Many people enjoyed my answer. I received a lot of "this girl knows what she's talking about", "this girl is in it for more than the money", "this is what I can respect about a woman." Backhanded Misogynist Compliments. Just because I explained why I COULD POSSIBLY accept a ring like that based on my personal experience with whittling out of wood does not mean anyone should be penalized if they choose to not accept a ring like that for all the reasons that I mentioned prior, in all my mental responses. People really need to stop this patriarchal bullshit because its getting old. Super fast. Stop trying to use every freaking social platform to promote that sexist crap. Get over yourself. If a woman doesn't want to accept a ring like that over the basis that the man who claims he LOVES HER ENOUGH TO WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF HIS LIFE WITH HER didn't "have time" to save for the ring he knows she wants, that does not make the woman a heartless bitch. In fact, one could argue it makes her wise for hesitating and questioning how much her "man" actually loves her if he didn't feel the need to take the time to plan his proposal through. Me possibly accepting a ring off of my experience with whittling and my affinity for creativity, is MY choice and only mine. Nor does it make any female who doesn't and worse or better than me. Get it together people. Like now.
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